Healing After An Affair

You've probably put your heart and soul into your marriage.

​ Why not give yourself and your marriage a chance?
Jake Thiessen, PhD, LMFT

Meeting Infidelity Head-On​

It's never easy...

Being betrayed by your spouse is among the hardest things you will ever have to experience.  It is an assault on the very foundation of the relationship and begins to call into question your understanding of who your spouse really is. 

It doesn't have to be "fatal."

Although it challenges the foundation of a marriage, it can be a catalyst to important personal and relationship changes.  Infidelity forces couples to redefine their marriage and sometimes that redefinition creates the platform for much needed growth.

It's broken!  step back, take a breath and figure out what to do next.

In the physical world, when there’s a serious accident involving major injuries, people move quickly and decisively to stop the bleeding, set the broken bones and begin the road to recovery.  The same should be true in the emotional and relational world.  When serious injury occurs intervention should be immediate and effective.  There are few things that wound a relationship more seriously than infidelity.  When it occurs there should be a response that meets the injury head on.

Couples at Crossroads has the kind of response to infidelity that can stop the bleeding, set the broken bones and put you on the road to recovery whether that means staying together or going your separate ways.

Do you want to get some basic information on the overall health of your relationship?  

Judging your relationship when it's the worst it's been may not be the best thing to do.  Take the Relationship Check-Up Quiz to get a sense for its strengths and weaknesses.

Once you discover an affair, you have some very serious decisions to make.

Discovering an affair can throw you into a frantic decision-making mode.  The pain of the situation can be unbearable.  That makes the need to decide how to respond all the more urgent.  Here are some things to consider as you try to figure out how to go forward with your life.

if you are ready to meet infidelity head on, here's a place to start.

Intensive Care

The earlier the intervention the better.  Once you contact Couples at Crossroads and indicate a desire to meet infidelity head on, you will be given a four-hour appointment with our team.  Each of you will have an hour session to help us understand your experience.  This will be followed by a two-hour joint session aimed at stabilizing the situation and charting a course for the next few days and weeks.
STEP ONE:  A four-hour session with our team to understand and stabilize your situation.

What happens next?

For ten days following that initial four-hour session, each of you will receive a daily 15 minute phone call from the team with the goal being to maintain stability and maximize recovery.
STEP TWO:  A check-in phone call from the team every day for 10 days.
Weekly, for four weeks following the initial session, you will have a 90 minute couple session with the team.
STEP THREE:  Four 90-minute weekly couple sessions. 

What can you expect from "meeting infidelity head on?"

In word, you can expect... STABILITY
The primary goal for Meeting Infidelity Head On is to stabilize your relationship so that whatever direction you choose to take will be taken thoughtfully and with the greatest chance for success.  After you've met infidelity head on, you will have the choice to:

1.  Continue with ongoing support for your relationship.  Regaining trust and building a solid relationship takes time. Once you've met infidelity head on and have established a stable foundation, your relationship can be rebuilt.

OR...
​
2. Begin the Peaceable Divorce process.
No matter which direction you choose to take, we will be there to support you on your journey.